[ not entirely painless, not exactly painful, jayce is finnding with each step. but something tells him the smart move would still be to safeguard the leg, and so that he does. he takes each step steady, and feels a warm hug of selfish wholeness in viktor having the patience to wait for him.
he can do this. it's not another terrible reach of effort. ]
A little numb, [ may be an aftermath or the magic simply doing its work, or both— ] but walkable. I'd rather that than it killing me.
[ not in the literal sense, but. you know. perhaps that would not last long, so it may be best not to get used to it. painkillers were a little hard to come by, but not impossible. he's still going to take it easy. ]
And I'm more interested in your choice of magic catalyst.
[ Viktor hums at this, eyes on Jayce's leg even though it's covered by layers of blankets and pants. ] It's possible there was nerve damage, either from the bullet or the spell. Or the nerves are regrowing at a slower rate than the tissue itself.
[ There are a slew of possibilities, and without proper equipment and clean working conditions, trying to puzzle out the answer as to what's really going on is a risk to Jayce's health.
Stewing in his thoughts, he perks up at the question posed as a statement. Of course Jayce would be interested in his choice of magic catalyst, he's been interested in magic his entire life and now he has yet another form of it to study. Well, if being his subject means that they can keep this tenuous peace between them, Viktor will lie on the metaphorical examination table. ]
It was part inference, part... instinct. I had already discovered that runes placed on my body were exponentially more viable than runes written on any other surface. [ He thinks about the metal skin now etched with runes, so similar to his body scarred with his efforts to fix it. ] You're familiar with the stories of dark sorcerers using blood magic, and you saw how the Hexcore responded to organic matter.
[ nerve damage. jayce tries not to show how the bridge of his nose crunches with displeasure much greater than any discomfort or pain he could be feeling. it wasn't like that way before— so he's hoping it's just a passing aftertingle from the spell itself.
they'll get a better look at it when they can. nothing stands unless there's proof. a few more stairs, and while jayce is beginning to huff, he can see the end of the rails going up. ]
That's . . . Incredible. [ viktor was incredible. ] Have you felt any side effects?
[ anything to worry about? goes unsaid, but jayce . . . hopes viktor would tell him. not hide it. ]
[ Studying the results of the healing as well as any after effects can wait until the morning; tonight, they deserve a break. Jayce especially seems to be in good spirits at the prospect of watching the night sky from the roof, and as long as he doesn't catch a cold from it, Viktor is happy to observe with him.
They reach the top of the stairs and Viktor side-steps around Jayce to stand near the door, ready to open it once Jayce is ready to proceed. ]
Side effects? [ His mind instantly goes to the strange release he'd felt at the height of the spell and how his body had tingled afterwards, but the thought of sharing all those implications with Jayce makes him want to hide away. ] Nothing dangerous.
[ it may have been jayce, but somehow the lack of a direct no has him stopping mid step to carefully watch viktor. he couldn't see the face he was making, but the answer hadn't satisfied him completely. after a moment of diligent pause, jayce asks: ]
You'd tell me if there were, right?
[ you won't seclude yourself and hide it from me again, will you? jayce watches in wait before he's ready to climb the rest of the way up. he'd feel better with an answer before they're met with distracting starlight.
one of his greater fears right now is viktor simply— disappearing from him, again. he just wakes up one day and viktor has left him, without a word. even if they've spoken, even if viktor has said otherwise now— what if, you know? ]
Of course. [ It's quick and honest though, on second thought, Viktor would probably hold back that kind of information if the trade off was being in pain for the sake of healing Jayce. The other doesn't need to know about how Viktor had struggled nor the strange euphoria that had come with the height of the spell, magic slotting into place, and finishing. Gods, even just the way he's wording it in his mind is suspect. ] In the interest of honesty, the spell was more difficult to perform than I'd anticipated, but it's a challenge to calculate something with so many unknown variables.
[ He knows that he needs to regain Jayce's trust for so many more reasons than he'd care to linger on right now. The focus is on being here, staying present, telling him when things are wrong and trusting that Jayce will do the same. ]
[ valid and so easily said, there's no room for jayce to suspect a thing. after a silent moment flipping it around in his brain, jayce accepts, ]
I believe you.
[ with a twinge of relief easily visible through the relaxation of the corners of his eyes. it's just him, probably. there wasn't anything to worry about. well, the roof awaits. adjusting his hold on his box, jayce nods and works himself up the remaining staircases. ]
[ Viktor nods as his only reply, accepting the fact that Jayce believes him and falling into a comfortable silence for the remainder of their ascent. Once they reach the final landing, he once again pauses to let Jayce catch his breath before opening the door.
Outside, the night is lit from above by ghostly, shifting light. It makes for strange shadows and reflections on the rooftop where creeping vines seem to glow blue and purple and pink from one minute to the next. Viktor's eye is drawn to the sky, up to the colors that remind him of memories both painful and powerful. ]
It isn't too cold, is it? [ He props the door open, wary of being locked out on a tall roof and a cold night. ] We can pile the blankets together somewhere.
[ even before they reach the very top, through the doors, jayce is captivated by the shifting hues— it's one of those things he would've woken viktor up in the middle of the night for. if he still slept, that is. double taking downwards, jayce kicks a piece of discarded debris between the door and its hatch, so they don't have to worry about the lock.
jayce is not completely blind to the sensation, watching viktor between the wave of colors, of awe and melancholy— he feels it shared, like a rub across his back made known. he wasn't viktor to truly know it, but he was there. he tried to understand, and he thought he could at least a bit. this is what you see?
the astral plane was beautiful, despite the circumstances that brought them there. if they could revel in the arcane's space without losing themselves, jayce would think the same thing he does now, without worry: this is beautiful.
he could see his own breath, puffy and white in the air; it was cold, but not something that couldn't be remedied with more blankets over him. jayce fixes the ones already over his shoulder and walks to help find a good spot. any spot would do, really. ]
Nothing these and good talk won't fix.
[ jayce flashes a quick quirk of the lips before he pats the arch of viktor's back and encourages him to follow. ]
[ Chuckling, Viktor shakes his head fondly. Only Jayce would find warmth in a conversation, especially one with so much potential to be awkward or full of silences. Even when they were on better terms, working daily in the lab together, they mostly talked about experiments and inventions and science and facts. They don't have any projects to discuss right now, so the topics left are ones that Viktor is a little less well-versed in, less of an expert.
That's something to worry about later. Now, he folds down to his knees and lays out a couple of blankets on the rooftop both to pad the hard surface and keep Jayce warm from below. With that settled, he sits on one corner and folds his knees to his chest, trying to take up as little space as possible. ]
[ they . . . might still run that risk, even with jayce eager to simply talk and talk and fill in the spaces they used to. he's willing to take the risk anyway, but stops at the first words that come to mind. it's beautiful.
that might not lead to anything more than reminiscing, so . . . he'll have to settle with his gaze upward once he sits rather unceremoneously, rump to blankets and legs stretched out. with the box now set aside, jayce can rummage through it. ]
Why not start with these? [ two books slightly puffed at the seams with humidity, but the pages are still easily flippable and readable. the first title reads: a brief history of time by stephen hawking, and entangled life by merlin sheldrake. both caught jayce's eye by cover alone; equations in the background of the latter, and plants (and fungi) in the former. ] They're for you.
[ Viktor shifts once Jayce has taken his spot, scooting a little closer but staying folded up with his arms wrapped around his legs to keep them pressed to his chest. He doesn't expect Jayce to withdrawn something from the box to start a conversation, certainly doesn't expect to see books in decent condition, and definitely doesn't expect them to be for him. Arm falling from around his shin, he reaches out towards Jayce's hand and takes the books. It highlights how different they are in size now, Viktor's fingers easily taking the two books and dwarfing Jayce's entire hand used to hold both together. ]
For me? [ He holds them close on his left side to make it easier to focus his one eye on the covers. It takes a moment for the words to click, all of the letters falling into place in his mind but needing to consciously mentally pluck them and file them as full words. ] Thank you, Jayce. These will be good study material to improve my English and learn more about the science of this world.
[ for just a moment, jayce allows his fingers to curl up once his hand goes empty, chasing viktor's fingers just as they haul their new goods away. lowering himself to encourage more comfort, jayce rests on a forearm and, with hope, wonders if viktor would at the very least disengage the compactness he's forcing himself to take.
he points to the first title, and looking proud of himself announces: ]
This one's "A Brief History of Time", [ and he's only managed to do so because he's rehearsed for this moment. sharon helped him out, sure . . . but jayce wanted to learn, too. he wouldn't have half the ease viktor currently had with the letters, but that's never stopped jayce from absorbing knowledge. he'll get there— he'll keep up. ] right?
[ Jayce moves and Viktor follows him, a sunflower tracking the path of the sun. His bent legs fold to the side and nearly brush against Jayce next to him, and while he holds one book in his lap, the other stays aloft as he holds it with the spine in his palm and allows gravity to pull the pages apart and grant him a quick sample of the contents. ]
That's right. [ There's a smile in his voice, both proud of Jayce's intelligence and also enjoying that he might seek validation from Viktor. It's a hint of the past, of them working together in the lab and Jayce showing him calculations just to get a bit of praise rather than actually second-guessing his work. ] It's quite an ambitious title.
[ Scanning the page that had been randomly selected for him, his eyes catch a familiar word that stands out amidst a sentence. The universe doesn't allow perfection. He shivers from the cold stone that sinks into his stomach and gently closes the tome, setting it on the blanket beside him to abandon it in favor of the other. ] And this one? What drew you to it?
[ he did in fact, want a selfish bit of validation just as much as showing that he could keep up, still bright despite his head seemingly poor in other angles— that he was fine, that he was still himself, or at least he could be.
while jayce feels a cushioning sensation of comfort bloom in his chest as viktor relaxes, there is just . . . something in the way he puts the first book aside that makes jayce feel the icy swell of discomfort. it's shared, once again, though he couldn't tell whether that was his own fertile imagination or his empathy or . . . the actual elephant sitting in the corner that could amount to their tether. much like anything else that bothers jayce to the point that he questions his reality, he leaves it be. for now. ]
Full disclosure . . . The plants. [ and it reminded him of viktor. jayce raises his shoulders and clears away the knot that causes his face to heat up. he lays down, instead— head looking up, and hands folded over his chest. now's a good time to pull another blanket and watch a twinkling wave of color rush over the roof. ] You know more about plants than I do.
[ Viktor fears that his attempt to subtly set aside the first book did not go unnoticed, perhaps appearing ungrateful for such a thoughtful gift. Was it just fate that everything be tainted by his past misdeeds? The chances of opening to a quote about perfection... surely it couldn't just be cruel serendipity.
He traces a finger over the fungi adorning the cover in his hands, flashes of memories that weren't his coming to the forefront of his mind. Jayce standing atop the ruined Hexgate, exotic plant life spreading from two still figures at the epicenter. Viktor knows more about plants, yes, but the similarity between the colorful fungi on the cover and that arcane flora so closely tied with the older version of Viktor that he'll never become... ]
Thank you again, Jayce. It will be a good way to pass the time to learn more about the fungi of this world.
[ Looking down at him where he lies, he feels his chest swell with affection. Jayce had taken the time to find books that would interest him, to read their titles in a foreign language, and bring them back safely to Viktor. His emotions cannot be expressed through one glowing eye nor his unchanging face, so he reaches out a hand to rest on Jayce's knee. ]
Really. Thank you. [ It will be a good challenge to keep him company in the dead of night. ]
[ if there was a way to put the entire universe in a single stare . . . jayce has mastered it. the way he looks at viktor, the way his love bleeds out, the slight crease as his brows come together, the smile, the way his eyes see beyond. with jayce's hand placed on top of viktor's and fingers curling to squeeze the sides of viktor's palm, their tether surges like a live wire given life, energy— tangling and braiding until their essence sunchronizes. what they feel is one.
the lights above aplified the beauty of it. ]
—I'll, [ there was a bit of tension he's now a little awkward about, even if he's still smiling through it, and still very well holding the top of viktor's hand. it doesn't look like he's letting go any time soon. ] still want to read it, after you.
[ The light playing softly over Jayce's face makes him younger again, softens the lines of pain and scars of time, paints his facial hair until Viktor remembers how Jayce had appeared in the astral plane. There's a weight to his expression, like a physical touch against Viktor's skin, a magnetic force that pulls him closer. He shifts again, lower to prop himself up with a hand splayed on the blanket near Jayce's shoulder, and for a second he imagines it: leaning down fully, pressing a kiss to those plush lips. But the Viktor in his mind's eye is human, has a warm mouth to press against and two working eyes of amber and is all soft skin to embrace. This is the dreamscape Viktor, so far from the reality of a cold, hard, metal husk that he must live with, his own cross to bear. ]
We could read it together. [ He doesn't lean in closer, but he does ease himself down backward until he's lying on the roof next to Jayce's sandwich of blankets, staring up at the sky and clutching both books to his chest. The tether tugs at him, an eager dog on a leash puling it taught and straining for release, but Viktor holds firm. He may be warming up to the idea that Jayce could see past the machine to find his partner again, but he isn't delusional to believe that anything more could come from that look, those hazel eyes. ]
[ somewhere in between the short silence, jayce too searches viktor's face, or at least half of it. he knows the want is his, he's realized it for a while now, growing thicker roots the longer they stay together. it had spooked jayce earlier, mostly because of viktor's reaction and the fear of his shutting down, of losing him again. but viktor settles in his welcome, tempting jayce to scoot closer as they keep their glances and maintain . . . hand contact, for an amount of time that by now, jayce could feel the heat pooling in his stomack and creeping up his neck. something snaps jayce out of his dreamy stupor into surprise. pleasant surprise, in fact, enough that it pries the wandering eyes that have found part of viktor's old lips, his mole— and sputters. ]
[ Viktor isn't sure what causes Jayce to sputter until he thinks about it; them reading together, shoulder to shoulder, pressing close in the cold of this world and sharing light that is probably conjured by Viktor. It's intimate to be sure, and with the additional thought of Jayce falling asleep while leaning against Viktor, his head lolling to rest on his shoulder... ]
Even if you sleep. I'll just make you read aloud the next day to cover anything you missed.
[ make him? that shoots up jayce excitement out of nowhere— ]
I'll have an excellent teacher, is what you're saying.
[ jayce would— actually like that for more than a single reason. the proximity, that's one. the fact that he's going to be drilled on reading in english. that's another thrill. the last outlook was more soothing— he would fall asleep to talking in the worst case scenario. it was better than silence. and viktor being close by— closer than usual, could ease his pre-slumber anxiety. ]
I kick sometimes. And I might snore right next to you. [ but that was just a bit of good humor— viktor might have already noticed jayce hardly sleeps well. he thrashes. he moans. he gasps and wakes up startled, desperately tries to pretend he hadn't jolted awake by keeping too still. ] Is . . . That alright?
[ That surprises some laughter from him, considering they have experience with the same teacher who was very hands-off with the both of them until it came time to lends his support which... never came. ]
That's a bit subjective, but I know you like to be challenged.
[ He wishes he could smile to Jayce, flash him a small and playful bit of teeth. What a fool he'd been to wish to cast off emotions, to live what he thought would be a peaceful life when really it was just numbing everything inside and around him. Humanity really was beautiful because of its flaws, but so much more so thanks to its blessings. ]
Jayce, you do know I cannot sleep. [ It's stated as a fact in hopes that it won't elicit any pity or equally negative emotions. There's no reason for Viktor to be concerned with the kicking or snoring outside of being indicators as to how Jayce is sleeping, if he's visited by the nightmares that clearly plague him whether or not he remembers upon waking. ] It won't bother me unless you start hurting yourself.
Well, [ the air rises from his curled lips in thick white puffs, ] can't say I didn't warn you.
[ it's all smiles and huffing through his teeth until jayce's eyes slip between them from the distraction of the sky and . . . well. from a side profile he double takes rapidly as his stare falls on their hands. still linked. his on top of viktor's. made hyperaware of how long the contact has gone for, jayce goes deathly still, barely breathes even.
part of him doesn't even want to break off. part of him is feeling the pin needle prick of awkward, too-warm belly-flips seizing him. the thought of weaving their fingers invades jayce. then, the gentle caress of his thumb across the top of viktor's golden capped tendons. both of those things— he's unsure if he could take those steps fearlessly.
jayce settles with a midway resolution: he squeezes viktor's hand instead of jolting away from it. it is a firm grip, languid and resisting the feeling of overstaying his welcome, and just as he slips away slow, indeed his thumb leaves the quietest of marks: a brush on top. and that's it. it's gone, now over his chest, and adjusting his blankets so he doesn't have to show his partner how dark his cheeks were.
his heart is pounding. in his ears. the sky should count as a good distraction as jayce fights the urge to smile a little too stupidly, ear to ear. ]
[ Looking up at the sky, entranced by the movement of the colors above them, Viktor doesn't realize they're still holding hands until Jayce gives his a squeeze. It folds him with dueling instincts: to pull away in shame, worrying that he had been the one to miss the cue to pull away and Jayce was trying to let go without damaging Viktor's ego, or to squeeze back in the hopes that it had just felt so natural to them both that they had forgotten about the connection. Should he apologize? Should he say anything at all? The answer comes in the form of going speechless at the faint brush of thumb over his knuckles, and then Jayce's hand is gone. How can he just say something so casually when Viktor's mind is racing, his chest whirring faster and at a volume he's scared will be audible. ]
Yes. [ He's looking over at Jayce while clenching and unclenching his hand at his side, resisting the urge to reach over and take back the prize he hadn't been aware of winning earlier. Realizing he'd replied without thinking, he looks back up at the sky. ] Um, very beautiful. Even knowing the scientific cause doesn't lessen the aesthetic impact.
[ that rush is just jayce— it has to be, he knows it as his own. the butterflies flipping his belly around in somersaults, too. the awkward air around them is charged, zapping away at the silence— jayce doesn't even know if he could bring himself to frown at it, leaving him pleasantly giddy than actually nervous. there had been no outright rejection, after all.
if anyone were to question jayce on what the hell he was doing, he couldn't bring himself to give two shits. so much time has gone lost between them. every night jayce fears he will wake up and viktor will be gone, perhaps not because he's . . . left, jayce hopes not, but teleporting has a strange way of happening. jayce settles on a single thought as he blankly oggles a shift in purple to pink hues under clouds. he doesn't know how to work out the kinks or how it would work at all— only: i want to be with him.
he wonders if viktor would tire of his advances. if he would even notice them. if he would take offense in them. think of them as nothing more than close associates. friends. part of jayce accepts it beforehand, part of him doesn't. that part just squirms uncomfortably. wasn't seven years enough—? ]
I . . . Wonder how far up north we are. There're auroras in the Freljord.
[ jayce lightly scoffs; small talk aside, of course it had to be somewhere northern. he bets his soul just invites it. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he can do this. it's not another terrible reach of effort. ]
A little numb, [ may be an aftermath or the magic simply doing its work, or both— ] but walkable. I'd rather that than it killing me.
[ not in the literal sense, but. you know. perhaps that would not last long, so it may be best not to get used to it. painkillers were a little hard to come by, but not impossible. he's still going to take it easy. ]
And I'm more interested in your choice of magic catalyst.
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[ There are a slew of possibilities, and without proper equipment and clean working conditions, trying to puzzle out the answer as to what's really going on is a risk to Jayce's health.
Stewing in his thoughts, he perks up at the question posed as a statement. Of course Jayce would be interested in his choice of magic catalyst, he's been interested in magic his entire life and now he has yet another form of it to study. Well, if being his subject means that they can keep this tenuous peace between them, Viktor will lie on the metaphorical examination table. ]
It was part inference, part... instinct. I had already discovered that runes placed on my body were exponentially more viable than runes written on any other surface. [ He thinks about the metal skin now etched with runes, so similar to his body scarred with his efforts to fix it. ] You're familiar with the stories of dark sorcerers using blood magic, and you saw how the Hexcore responded to organic matter.
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they'll get a better look at it when they can. nothing stands unless there's proof. a few more stairs, and while jayce is beginning to huff, he can see the end of the rails going up. ]
That's . . . Incredible. [ viktor was incredible. ] Have you felt any side effects?
[ anything to worry about? goes unsaid, but jayce . . . hopes viktor would tell him. not hide it. ]
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They reach the top of the stairs and Viktor side-steps around Jayce to stand near the door, ready to open it once Jayce is ready to proceed. ]
Side effects? [ His mind instantly goes to the strange release he'd felt at the height of the spell and how his body had tingled afterwards, but the thought of sharing all those implications with Jayce makes him want to hide away. ] Nothing dangerous.
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You'd tell me if there were, right?
[ you won't seclude yourself and hide it from me again, will you? jayce watches in wait before he's ready to climb the rest of the way up. he'd feel better with an answer before they're met with distracting starlight.
one of his greater fears right now is viktor simply— disappearing from him, again. he just wakes up one day and viktor has left him, without a word. even if they've spoken, even if viktor has said otherwise now— what if, you know? ]
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[ He knows that he needs to regain Jayce's trust for so many more reasons than he'd care to linger on right now. The focus is on being here, staying present, telling him when things are wrong and trusting that Jayce will do the same. ]
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I believe you.
[ with a twinge of relief easily visible through the relaxation of the corners of his eyes. it's just him, probably. there wasn't anything to worry about. well, the roof awaits. adjusting his hold on his box, jayce nods and works himself up the remaining staircases. ]
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Outside, the night is lit from above by ghostly, shifting light. It makes for strange shadows and reflections on the rooftop where creeping vines seem to glow blue and purple and pink from one minute to the next. Viktor's eye is drawn to the sky, up to the colors that remind him of memories both painful and powerful. ]
It isn't too cold, is it? [ He props the door open, wary of being locked out on a tall roof and a cold night. ] We can pile the blankets together somewhere.
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jayce is not completely blind to the sensation, watching viktor between the wave of colors, of awe and melancholy— he feels it shared, like a rub across his back made known. he wasn't viktor to truly know it, but he was there. he tried to understand, and he thought he could at least a bit. this is what you see?
the astral plane was beautiful, despite the circumstances that brought them there. if they could revel in the arcane's space without losing themselves, jayce would think the same thing he does now, without worry: this is beautiful.
he could see his own breath, puffy and white in the air; it was cold, but not something that couldn't be remedied with more blankets over him. jayce fixes the ones already over his shoulder and walks to help find a good spot. any spot would do, really. ]
Nothing these and good talk won't fix.
[ jayce flashes a quick quirk of the lips before he pats the arch of viktor's back and encourages him to follow. ]
I think we have enough
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That's something to worry about later. Now, he folds down to his knees and lays out a couple of blankets on the rooftop both to pad the hard surface and keep Jayce warm from below. With that settled, he sits on one corner and folds his knees to his chest, trying to take up as little space as possible. ]
Is there more you wish to discuss?
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that might not lead to anything more than reminiscing, so . . . he'll have to settle with his gaze upward once he sits rather unceremoneously, rump to blankets and legs stretched out. with the box now set aside, jayce can rummage through it. ]
Why not start with these? [ two books slightly puffed at the seams with humidity, but the pages are still easily flippable and readable. the first title reads: a brief history of time by stephen hawking, and entangled life by merlin sheldrake. both caught jayce's eye by cover alone; equations in the background of the latter, and plants (and fungi) in the former. ] They're for you.
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For me? [ He holds them close on his left side to make it easier to focus his one eye on the covers. It takes a moment for the words to click, all of the letters falling into place in his mind but needing to consciously mentally pluck them and file them as full words. ] Thank you, Jayce. These will be good study material to improve my English and learn more about the science of this world.
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he points to the first title, and looking proud of himself announces: ]
This one's "A Brief History of Time", [ and he's only managed to do so because he's rehearsed for this moment. sharon helped him out, sure . . . but jayce wanted to learn, too. he wouldn't have half the ease viktor currently had with the letters, but that's never stopped jayce from absorbing knowledge. he'll get there— he'll keep up. ] right?
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That's right. [ There's a smile in his voice, both proud of Jayce's intelligence and also enjoying that he might seek validation from Viktor. It's a hint of the past, of them working together in the lab and Jayce showing him calculations just to get a bit of praise rather than actually second-guessing his work. ] It's quite an ambitious title.
[ Scanning the page that had been randomly selected for him, his eyes catch a familiar word that stands out amidst a sentence. The universe doesn't allow perfection. He shivers from the cold stone that sinks into his stomach and gently closes the tome, setting it on the blanket beside him to abandon it in favor of the other. ] And this one? What drew you to it?
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while jayce feels a cushioning sensation of comfort bloom in his chest as viktor relaxes, there is just . . . something in the way he puts the first book aside that makes jayce feel the icy swell of discomfort. it's shared, once again, though he couldn't tell whether that was his own fertile imagination or his empathy or . . . the actual elephant sitting in the corner that could amount to their tether. much like anything else that bothers jayce to the point that he questions his reality, he leaves it be. for now. ]
Full disclosure . . . The plants. [ and it reminded him of viktor. jayce raises his shoulders and clears away the knot that causes his face to heat up. he lays down, instead— head looking up, and hands folded over his chest. now's a good time to pull another blanket and watch a twinkling wave of color rush over the roof. ] You know more about plants than I do.
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He traces a finger over the fungi adorning the cover in his hands, flashes of memories that weren't his coming to the forefront of his mind. Jayce standing atop the ruined Hexgate, exotic plant life spreading from two still figures at the epicenter. Viktor knows more about plants, yes, but the similarity between the colorful fungi on the cover and that arcane flora so closely tied with the older version of Viktor that he'll never become... ]
Thank you again, Jayce. It will be a good way to pass the time to learn more about the fungi of this world.
[ Looking down at him where he lies, he feels his chest swell with affection. Jayce had taken the time to find books that would interest him, to read their titles in a foreign language, and bring them back safely to Viktor. His emotions cannot be expressed through one glowing eye nor his unchanging face, so he reaches out a hand to rest on Jayce's knee. ]
Really. Thank you. [ It will be a good challenge to keep him company in the dead of night. ]
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the lights above aplified the beauty of it. ]
—I'll, [ there was a bit of tension he's now a little awkward about, even if he's still smiling through it, and still very well holding the top of viktor's hand. it doesn't look like he's letting go any time soon. ] still want to read it, after you.
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We could read it together. [ He doesn't lean in closer, but he does ease himself down backward until he's lying on the roof next to Jayce's sandwich of blankets, staring up at the sky and clutching both books to his chest. The tether tugs at him, an eager dog on a leash puling it taught and straining for release, but Viktor holds firm. He may be warming up to the idea that Jayce could see past the machine to find his partner again, but he isn't delusional to believe that anything more could come from that look, those hazel eyes. ]
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Even if I'll sleep at some point?
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Even if you sleep. I'll just make you read aloud the next day to cover anything you missed.
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I'll have an excellent teacher, is what you're saying.
[ jayce would— actually like that for more than a single reason. the proximity, that's one. the fact that he's going to be drilled on reading in english. that's another thrill. the last outlook was more soothing— he would fall asleep to talking in the worst case scenario. it was better than silence. and viktor being close by— closer than usual, could ease his pre-slumber anxiety. ]
I kick sometimes. And I might snore right next to you. [ but that was just a bit of good humor— viktor might have already noticed jayce hardly sleeps well. he thrashes. he moans. he gasps and wakes up startled, desperately tries to pretend he hadn't jolted awake by keeping too still. ] Is . . . That alright?
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That's a bit subjective, but I know you like to be challenged.
[ He wishes he could smile to Jayce, flash him a small and playful bit of teeth. What a fool he'd been to wish to cast off emotions, to live what he thought would be a peaceful life when really it was just numbing everything inside and around him. Humanity really was beautiful because of its flaws, but so much more so thanks to its blessings. ]
Jayce, you do know I cannot sleep. [ It's stated as a fact in hopes that it won't elicit any pity or equally negative emotions. There's no reason for Viktor to be concerned with the kicking or snoring outside of being indicators as to how Jayce is sleeping, if he's visited by the nightmares that clearly plague him whether or not he remembers upon waking. ] It won't bother me unless you start hurting yourself.
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[ it's all smiles and huffing through his teeth until jayce's eyes slip between them from the distraction of the sky and . . . well. from a side profile he double takes rapidly as his stare falls on their hands. still linked. his on top of viktor's. made hyperaware of how long the contact has gone for, jayce goes deathly still, barely breathes even.
part of him doesn't even want to break off. part of him is feeling the pin needle prick of awkward, too-warm belly-flips seizing him. the thought of weaving their fingers invades jayce. then, the gentle caress of his thumb across the top of viktor's golden capped tendons. both of those things— he's unsure if he could take those steps fearlessly.
jayce settles with a midway resolution: he squeezes viktor's hand instead of jolting away from it. it is a firm grip, languid and resisting the feeling of overstaying his welcome, and just as he slips away slow, indeed his thumb leaves the quietest of marks: a brush on top. and that's it. it's gone, now over his chest, and adjusting his blankets so he doesn't have to show his partner how dark his cheeks were.
his heart is pounding. in his ears. the sky should count as a good distraction as jayce fights the urge to smile a little too stupidly, ear to ear. ]
—Beautiful, isn't it?
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Yes. [ He's looking over at Jayce while clenching and unclenching his hand at his side, resisting the urge to reach over and take back the prize he hadn't been aware of winning earlier. Realizing he'd replied without thinking, he looks back up at the sky. ] Um, very beautiful. Even knowing the scientific cause doesn't lessen the aesthetic impact.
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if anyone were to question jayce on what the hell he was doing, he couldn't bring himself to give two shits. so much time has gone lost between them. every night jayce fears he will wake up and viktor will be gone, perhaps not because he's . . . left, jayce hopes not, but teleporting has a strange way of happening. jayce settles on a single thought
as he blankly oggles a shift in purple to pink hues under clouds. he doesn't know how to work out the kinks or how it would work at all— only: i want to be with him.
he wonders if viktor would tire of his advances. if he would even notice them. if he would take offense in them. think of them as nothing more than close associates. friends. part of jayce accepts it beforehand, part of him doesn't. that part just squirms uncomfortably. wasn't seven years enough—? ]
I . . . Wonder how far up north we are. There're auroras in the Freljord.
[ jayce lightly scoffs; small talk aside, of course it had to be somewhere northern. he bets his soul just invites it. ]
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