[ A compass? What's a compass? Viktor can't imagine how he's meant to focus on scientific endeavors with Jayce linking their fingers together that way, thumb adding gentle pressure to the elongated digit as if counting the joints. This is why Viktor had never sought out romance before, never put in the work that was clearly required to find a partner outside of the lab: it's distracting and illogical. Even his feelings for Jayce had been pushed down beneath the long list of things to prioritize over losing their partnership: Hextech, curing his disease, aiding the people of the undercity, leaving his mark on the world before he was forced to leave it.
And yet... Being with Jayce has always driven Viktor's curiosity, academia their alphabet and innovation their syntax. Though bumping the backs of their hands together sends his mind reeling, he also knows that ultimately it will settle back into place alongside Jayce's at their chalkboard, calculations and diagrams guiding him back to focus.
Maybe he could have both. It's a terrifying thought, not only because if feels more selfish than he should be allowed, but because it comes from a tiny affection doted upon him by a man well-versed in physical intimacy. Jayce would pat backs and hold hands and give hugs like it was all second nature, and so Viktor must temper his expectations before he risks everything for a small thing like entwined fingers.
Clearing his throat, he pushes all of that from his mind but doesn't move his hand away. Stay, he almost hears in the corner of his consciousness, and it's enough to encourage him to bask in the touch a while longer. ]
A compass could verify whether or not the planet's magnetic fields are intact. According to maps, there were verified cardinal directions. [ If nothing else, knowing that the neighborhood they're in was referred to as "West Side" meant that someone at some point had established universal directions. ]
Tomorrow. [ He's enjoying the light show above them and the proximity between them, and even with everything happening around them, he suddenly feels like he has time to not rush around looking for results. For the first time since his childhood, he could pursue knowledge for the sack of knowledge rather than a constant push for progress, for results, for solutions. ]
Are you warm enough to sleep up here? I can keep watch, you'll need rest after the day you had.
[ jayce's tracing evolves into a gradual, firmer hook of viktor's single index finger to begin rubbing the pad of his thumb along it, from the second joint down to tip. as expected, the warmth only blooms. it's easier on him, to conduct the choices in his mind like he would an experiment, just barely keeping him from becoming too giddy for his own good. his ass is almost not listening either, with heavy eyes trailed mostly up above them, but occasionally drawing downward— between them, sideways.
perhaps his growing silence was another sign that fatigue was catching up to him, and the enveloping warmth of something as simple as holding his partner's hand has brought a calm to him that he hasn't experienced before sleep, as of late. he was always anxious for it— because he knew what the night would be like, if he drifted.
it's comforting, and in its own way, exhilarating, to have him this close. stay, he thinks. please, stay. ]
I can . . . [ he was going to say something, but his eyes droop, his head bobs. he can't remember what they were talking about. ] Yeah.
[ the gentle rubbing goes on and off, starts up again if jayce realizes he's stopped, but he doesn't let go. and at this rate? he will sleep with a grip on viktor's hand, further wedging his fingers between even longer ones, with his pinky coiling at the very bottom. eventually it would all lax, but . . .
the message grows clear just as jayce's thoughts go hazy and his voice drags— drunk, almost, but whispered like he thought he'd only said it in his head. ]
[ Jayce's words drift, and Viktor's eye moves from watching the sky to glancing side-long at his partner. He's obviously tired—he should be, given he'd fought Jinx and had a bullet wound healed barely an hour ago—and Viktor lowers his voice so that he doesn't startle him out of his oncoming slumber. ]
I won't. [ Flexing his finger, he squeezes Jayce's gently between them. He wouldn't dream of leaving Jayce up here, alone and exposed, but more than the safety of it is the fact that he can't bear to break the contact between their hands. It's bound to happen eventually, as Jayce sleeps and tosses and turns as Viktor watches over him beneath the cosmic lightshow above them. He wonders if he should wake Jayce at the first sign of a nightmare, if it's silly and childish of them to stay out on the roof given the frigid temperatures.
But he stays. How could he do anything else? How could Jayce still be worrying about Viktor leaving when he'd messed up the one chance to make a clean break, something he won't get again not because of circumstances, but because he's seen Jayce and knows that he's not strong enough to leave him again. ]
[ i won't. for now, it is enough for jayce to agree to, to take. it's hard for jayce not to have nightmares, but if anything they are in lesser abundance in viktor's company. if jayc is ever stirred awake by his own startle, the first thing his checks on is viktor, where he is, his reality— and then going back to sleep.. but what remains constant is the hold he has on viktor. twitching, relaxing. jayce curls more and more inward to retain the warmth within the blankets as the chill of the morning frost melts into dew.
the earth warms as the northern lights brush against the solitary horizon line, fading into a new day, whether it be dark or light, and there he still is— finding his way closer. ]
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And yet... Being with Jayce has always driven Viktor's curiosity, academia their alphabet and innovation their syntax. Though bumping the backs of their hands together sends his mind reeling, he also knows that ultimately it will settle back into place alongside Jayce's at their chalkboard, calculations and diagrams guiding him back to focus.
Maybe he could have both. It's a terrifying thought, not only because if feels more selfish than he should be allowed, but because it comes from a tiny affection doted upon him by a man well-versed in physical intimacy. Jayce would pat backs and hold hands and give hugs like it was all second nature, and so Viktor must temper his expectations before he risks everything for a small thing like entwined fingers.
Clearing his throat, he pushes all of that from his mind but doesn't move his hand away. Stay, he almost hears in the corner of his consciousness, and it's enough to encourage him to bask in the touch a while longer. ]
A compass could verify whether or not the planet's magnetic fields are intact. According to maps, there were verified cardinal directions. [ If nothing else, knowing that the neighborhood they're in was referred to as "West Side" meant that someone at some point had established universal directions. ]
Tomorrow. [ He's enjoying the light show above them and the proximity between them, and even with everything happening around them, he suddenly feels like he has time to not rush around looking for results. For the first time since his childhood, he could pursue knowledge for the sack of knowledge rather than a constant push for progress, for results, for solutions. ]
Are you warm enough to sleep up here? I can keep watch, you'll need rest after the day you had.
no subject
perhaps his growing silence was another sign that fatigue was catching up to him, and the enveloping warmth of something as simple as holding his partner's hand has brought a calm to him that he hasn't experienced before sleep, as of late. he was always anxious for it— because he knew what the night would be like, if he drifted.
it's comforting, and in its own way, exhilarating, to have him this close. stay, he thinks. please, stay. ]
I can . . . [ he was going to say something, but his eyes droop, his head bobs. he can't remember what they were talking about. ] Yeah.
[ the gentle rubbing goes on and off, starts up again if jayce realizes he's stopped, but he doesn't let go. and at this rate? he will sleep with a grip on viktor's hand, further wedging his fingers between even longer ones, with his pinky coiling at the very bottom. eventually it would all lax, but . . .
the message grows clear just as jayce's thoughts go hazy and his voice drags— drunk, almost, but whispered like he thought he'd only said it in his head. ]
Just don't leave.
no subject
I won't. [ Flexing his finger, he squeezes Jayce's gently between them. He wouldn't dream of leaving Jayce up here, alone and exposed, but more than the safety of it is the fact that he can't bear to break the contact between their hands. It's bound to happen eventually, as Jayce sleeps and tosses and turns as Viktor watches over him beneath the cosmic lightshow above them. He wonders if he should wake Jayce at the first sign of a nightmare, if it's silly and childish of them to stay out on the roof given the frigid temperatures.
But he stays. How could he do anything else? How could Jayce still be worrying about Viktor leaving when he'd messed up the one chance to make a clean break, something he won't get again not because of circumstances, but because he's seen Jayce and knows that he's not strong enough to leave him again. ]
🎀
the earth warms as the northern lights brush against the solitary horizon line, fading into a new day, whether it be dark or light, and there he still is— finding his way closer. ]